Never Letting Go [Dave Strider x Reader]

Author’s Note:
I AM OBSESSED WITH DAVE STRIDER AND I DON’T CARE WHAT SOCIETY HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT MATTER.
I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT AND THE BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS I HAVE SHED TO MAKE THIS FIC HAPPEN.
CONTAINS PROFANITIES.

---

Never Letting Go

More often than not, you still found yourself looking through the window, hoping that he'd come back from exactly where you watched him go. You were painfully aware that you missed him, even though you'd be more than happy to forget. Forever.

But you knew you couldn't expect to have amnesia the next day. So useless you’d be willing to off yourself, you'd have to continue being a forced-volunteer player in this shithole they call life. That entailed pain - that bullcrap's a constant.

However, though it practically made you feel like the shittiest organism alive, living with pain was possible. So you did.

But the most challenging factor of doing so was the fact that everything around you reminded you of him. Accomplice number one was where you lived. The condo was too spacious, like it was meant to house two people. But there was just one you - one placated and depressed you.

This was also the birthplace of the memories: The firsts, the laughs, the arguments, the falling outs, the making-ups and the love. But now there was only, well, none of that.

Moreover, the place was practically bombarded with his loot that you couldn't just throw away; his clothes, his trinkets, even his turntables. After all, he left out of the blue without bothering to bring all of his shit, which now practically existed to remind you of that fact that he was gone.

You had always known why, though. Everytime you looked in his eyes, you could tell just how much he didn't love you like you loved him. You could see how he still hasn't moved on - a part of him still loved her. And if that felt anything like you were feeling right now, then you only wish you could've been with him more, faced him more, loved him more. But you it was too late for that now.

Breaking free from your chain of thought, you decided to rip yourself from the window for a change to get some morning coffee - something you had always done with Dave. You didn't bother to put on makeup or wash up for that matter, convincing yourself that you'll just do it later. So you put on your coat, and then wrapped the green scarf Dave gave you for your birthday to remind you to get you being a shopaholic in line. Well, that sure went well, didn't it?

A grand search for the missing key and a few driving assholes later, you stepped into the Starbucks: The land of all that is overpriced and overrated. This also happens to be accomplice number two.

The scent that wafted through the entire room was the same one that was perpetually on Dave Strider, since he'd spend most of his time leaching on their free Wi-Fi - Which was weird since he didn't even drink coffee.

"Espresso, please. Grande," you asked the lady who had too-many-times attempted to flirt with Dave. And as always, you ended up adding, "And hot chocolate with extra milk."

For some reason, you couldn't just not order anything for him, despite the fact that he'd long gone. The lady, as usual, looked at you in that weird way she does, where you'd just answer with a brief glare. When your order came, you took your leave. After all, being outside wasn't really an activity you enjoyed.

By the time you got home, you managed to chug down all the contents of your cup, while Dave's remained untouched. Like what you always did, you took the cup to the sink.

"Drink up," you tipped the cup, allowing the now lukewarm liquid flow down into the drain. You couldn't just dump it down the bin. In fact, it took two weeks and the disgusting scent of old chocolate to actually get you to stop hording the said beverage.

This brought you to accomplice number three:

You.

You knew it was possible to move on - to look forward, but it's just that you chose not to. As a matter of fact, you couldn't imagine a life without Dave. And if the future meant that you couldn't be with him, then you don't need it. You’ll fucking discard it.  So you continued living in the past, signing yourself up for this torture you, yourself created.

Only when your eyes stung did you realize you were crying. Tears fell like the pouring rain, as the hollowness in your chest expanded. It was a black hole that devoured you from inside - a rift, a missing piece.

Dave.

You knew this was far from healthy, but hell knows you'd eventually just end up in front of that window again, waiting.

[END]