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Inscrutable [Akaashi Keiji x Reader]

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Author's Note:
I OWN NOTHING OTHER THAN THE PLOT.
P.S. THIS CONTAINS SOME PROFANITIES.



Confessions:
Inscrutable




Never in your life did you think you'd come across a puzzle so impossible to decipher as Akaashi Keiji. He was an enigma whose barrier was his ever-stoic demeanor. Truly, everyone must have, at one point, found themselves being lured in by his mystique allure. You, of course, were no exception.

In fact, you reckoned that you were the only one that had been pulled in so deep. The way his voice came out like lackadaisical mid-summer breeze, the way the lightest dust of pink on his lips stretched whenever they pulled into one of his briefest smirks, the way his orbs that resemble oceans of crimson and question gazed at you askance, the way he did everything - it hauled you into a whole new dimension, revolving around the inscrutable boy that is Akaashi Keiji. That was when you realized, you'd fallen.

So here you were here, standing awkwardly behind the gym in this horrid cold. The plan was you'd confess - nothing too extravagant or touchy, just brief and down to the point. After all, you didn't want it to be more embarrassing than it already was: You, his classmate that he had only shared brief conversations with, was now calling him after class to confess.

In truth, you weren't really sure what you were thinking. Maybe it was because the prospect of him miraculously agreeing presented itself so nicely? Or because you wanted to find out where the next piece of the puzzle fit? Or a bit of both? You didn't know. But what you did know that there was no turning back now. After all, the boy in question was now standing in front of you.

You could only watch how tufts of black danced to the breeze, haphazardly  flailing in the cold wind; to his gradually reddening nose; to the loosely knit scarf he had wrapped around his neck. But for some reason, you couldn't look him in the eyes.

"[Last Name]-san? What was it that you had to tell me?" You realized that you loved the way your named rolled off his tongue - faintly lingering in the last vowel. But that wasn't the only thing. The second realization was that for the first time in a very long time, you were flustered. You could hear your heart thumping against your ears and although today's weather was more than enough to freeze your tits off, you felt hot.

"Akaashi-san," you voice was crisp but clear. "I like you. Please go out with me."

With one glance at his face, you knew you'd get turned down. His features favored no expression. You vaguely wondered what he thought of you, really. A sting ran down your spine for the briefest moment, before you dismissed it.

You were expecting this. It's okay, you remind yourself. But then he responded with is ever-indifferent tone:

"Alright."

Strangely, a more intense warmth seemed to explode in your chest, like a nuke of fluffiness. In that moment, you were the happiest you had even been.

...



Frustrated was an understatement to how you're feeling right now. Despite having dated for three months, you still didn't know shit about Akaashi. It wasn't even an issue of solving the goddamned puzzle anymore, you just wanted to know something about him. Hell, the only time you see him vulnerable was when he slept. You couldn't help but think that he didn't even remotely like you.

"Well, you can't expect me to arbitrarily ask him, "Hey, Akaashi, why don't we talk about our feelings?" That's crap and we all know it."

"Why not? But it's not nothing, right?" Bokuto reassures you. "I mean, he's stayed with you all time. It must mean something."

You've befriended Akaashi's teammate in hopes on getting inside information on him, but it turns out that he's in the dark as much as you are. Nonetheless, you believed that he's bound to know something. So here you were soliciting information from Bokuto who was a convenient correspondence since the both of you were seatmates. It was easy, really. All you had to do was buy him ice-cream each time you wanted to know something.

"Much advice. Very wow," you cooed half-assedly. He rolled his eyes in response.

"Seriously, though. I'm always the one who makes the first move, which sucks because that probably just makes me seem like a bitch in heat!"

You mean: sure, Akaashi was a proper boyfriend. He'd walk you all the way home, he'd entertain you whenever he can, he'd even occasionally go out on dates with you, but all of that he seemed to do it out of obligation and not because he actually wanted to.

Then you realize that Bokuto was looking at you in that weird way, like he was enjoying some inside joke.

"What."

"Nothing."

"WHAT."

"Nothing!" He raised his hands in defeat, but there's no way you'd buy it. The teacher briefly looks in your direction, but let's you guys pass off with a glare.

"Tell. Me."

"Okay, fine. Just don't bite my head off."

You raised your brow, but nodded.

"I don't know, man. But, like, i expected the captain's girlfriend to be, uh, a lot different," well that was blunt. Weirdly enough what he said didn't hurt one bit. In fact, you knew that you didn't suit Akaashi. But you liked him and he agreed to go out with you, so it's probably okay(?).

Dammit, even you found it hard to believe yourself.

"Yes?" You urged him to continue.

He looked at you wearily, "It's just that your personalities clash is all."

"What do you mean?"

He scoffed. You frowned in return.

"You know," he began with a sigh. "If you really want to know more about Akaashi, watc him play." Then, he turned to face the teacher, leaving you alone with the question that has been haunting you for the longest time.

What should you do?

...



In Bokuto's suggestion, you stayed to watch the team's practice match. It was the first time you'll see Akaashi play, because he would insist that you go home first every single time they had practice, saying it was either too late or too dangerous.

Not long after, just before the game began, the groups of spectators littered the sides of the gym. You hid yourself amongst the crowd, since you were pretty sure Akaashi would make you go home if he spots you.

Then, the whistle's cry rips through the webs of murmurs, signaling the start of the match. And in that very moment, it's as though the Akaashi that stood on the other side of the net was a stranger. He was still composed and leveled, but there was something about his eyes.

They were on fire.

Amazing, what was the sole thing that resonated throughout your mind.

This was Akaashi Keiji.

He served first. His movements were smooth and refined, from his jump to his hit. His play was like a dance that had been polished to perfection. It was beautiful.

In spite of it just being a practice game, both teams fought hard. But there was something that set Fukurodani apart, though you couldn't quite put your finger on it. Needless to say, they won.

The bell rang through the court, officially ending the match. Without giving it much thought, you came up and glomped Akaashi, paying no mind the envious glares from his horde of fangirls.

"That was awesome!"

The embarrassment came the moment you pulled back and looked at him. You had hugged before, but never in front of anyone, and usually those "hugs" were just you awkwardly trying to wrap your arms around him and pulling away as soon as possible. But this time, there was the ghost of a smile on his lips and a distinct animation in his eyes, "Thank you."

You weren't sure whether it was because of his fatigue, but you didn't care. The mere satisfaction of seeing him like this was more than worth it - It was a treasure, your treasure.

You smiled at him, "I'm glad I got to see you play." Oh god, what were you saying. This was beyond embarrassing, but for some reason you couldn't just stop, "You were great out there- really great. It was- it was... graceful. "

You were painfully stuttering, but something told you that these were feelings you had to convey no matter what. Even though that meant you'd look like a complete moron.

Then, something completely unbelievable happened. Akaashi Keiji chuckled - he just motherfucking chuckled. You couldn't believe it. A dumbfounded look had plastered itself across your face like a permanent stamp.

"Sorry," he patted your head once he was done. "You shouldn't force yourself too much."

A small smile still lingered on his lips, "I'll walk you home after I get changed. Wait for a bit."

Relief washed over you; He didn't get mad, he patted you, he smiled... He smiled. Tonight, you witnessed different sides of Akaashi, and god knows you'd even wait an infinity to see more.

...



The walk home was a quiet one, but that wasn't a bad thing. The silence enveloped the two of you like a comfortable blanket of gossamer. The solitary sounds that played in its domain were the stepping two pair of feet and the faint breaths you both took.

After a while, his voice permeates it like a blooming flower, natural, without any intrusion, "[Last Name]."

"Hm?" You looked at him, but he wasn't facing you. You didn't mind, though.

"Why didn't you tell me you stayed?" His voice was firm as always, but there was something different.

"Well," you decided to be honest. "I assumed you wouldn't let me."

He sent a side glance at you, "Why would you think that?"

"Well, wouldn't you?"

"Good point. But it's late. Don't you have some curfew?" He was strangely being chatty today, so you decided to take advantage of that.

"What century so you think it is, Akaashi?" You giggled. For a moment you could have sworn the tips of his ears reddened.

"I meant," he paused, "won't your parents be worried?"

"No?" You replied curiously, causing him to peer at you. "At least I don't think so. I live alone."

His answer was a simple, "Oh." No surprise was written on his tone nor on face, though. At this rate, the conversation would be over. You didn't want that. So you babbled on.

"My mom comes over once in a while, though. She cooks a ton of food to eat. Speaking of which, she went yesterday. So my fridge is basically full of ammo."

"Hmmm," he replied nonchalantly. You weren't really sure what you'd have to say to get him interested, but you had to say something.

"She's a scintillating cook. You should come over and have a taste," you smile up at him. This was you first time to invite him over.

"Scintillating?"

"Scintillating."

His lips tugged up ever so slightly, "Then how can I refuse?"

The short walk to your apartment was brief, and only on your arrival did you realize the magnitude of what you had just done. You invited you boyfriend over. Holy crap. What could he be thinking. You looked over to him, hoping to get a clue. But as usual, he was as expressionless as a fucking log - an adorable log, but a log nonetheless.

As soon as you opened up, you stepped into the kitchen followed by Akaashi. You take out a Tupperware, and pushed its frozen contents into a pot before placing it on the stove.

"You can stay in the living room and watch television or something," you looked at him with a smile.

"I think I'll stay," he deadpanned, as he comes closer to take a look at what you were heating up. "What are we having?"

"Chicken curry. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes."

"'Aight," you turned to add more seasoning here and there. "Spicy?"

"No thank you."

That was a surprise. Minutes later, you transferred the meal to a bowl. You picked it up, only to have Akaashi take it, "I'll carry it."

"I can do i-"

"I insist." His voice sonded more like a command than it was a favor, so you just let him. You carried the plates and silverware instead.

Once you finished setting the table, both of you sat down. Akaashi placed himself on the seat in front of you. He takes a ladle-full of curry and pours if over the cup of rice on his plate. You do the same once he had finished.

You glanced at him as he took a bite, curious as to how he'd react. It was definitely worth it. As soon as he took a bite, his eyes widened. Then, he glanced at you, then to the curry, then back to you. You giggled - this boy was just too damn precious.

"Wow. "

You ate a spoonful, allowing the plethora of saltiness and sweetness dominate your senses.

"I know, right? I told you she was a scintillating cook."

"I thought," he glanced at you with that small smile he does, "you were just exaggerating when you said scintillating."

"I would never," you smile right back.

The night melted into a nexus of good-natured banters and pleasant conversations, and before you knew it, the both of you ended up on the couch watching a ridiculous not-so-horrifying horror movie.

"Stupid!"

He looks at you.

"What? It is! That's, like, the third person that has went off wandering alone because they heard something fall in the other room. Horror movie rule number one: Don't fucking go. Falling objects are practically signs of paranormal hoo-hah, but no! They. Just. Have. To. Freakin'. Check. It. Out."

A few moments of silence pass before you register what you had just done. Shit, did you just rant to Akaashi Keiji?

Then, he chuckles yet again. But there was more amusement beneath it now, much to your chagrin. Your face flared up in response.

"What? What's so funny?" You asked although you were pretty sure the object hilarity was you.

"Adorable," he coughed. That takes you by surprise. Your breathing hitched, and your heart palpitated loudly. You weren't the only one, though. You could tell that he, too, was surprised about what he had just said. The tips of his ears lit up like it was a light bulb whose switch had just been turned on, followed by the lightest tint of pink on his pale cheeks.

Then, you recalled the main reason why you invited him over. You voice was uneven as you began, "Akaashi?"

"Hm?" The boy eludes your gaze.

"Won't you tell me more about yourself?"

That makes him stop and look at you. He wasn't expecting that, apparently. Not only did you have the courage to approach and confess to him, but you actually wanted to know more about him. That amazed him, really. Normally, people would just slink away upon coming across his somewhat cold mien.

In fact, he realized, the more he spent time with you - the more he discovered bits and pieces of you, he always found himself being pulled in. There was something about you that caught him. But there was that solitary thing that scared him.

"Why don't you?" You cocked your head to the side.

He took a deep breath. Was it worth investing feelings on? With one last look at you, he wondered why he even asked.

Of course it was.

"Turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so."

He was strangely being unreasonable, this boy. That was a first. You did what he asks anyway. Was he embarrassed?

"[First Name]." His breath hit the nape of your neck like a kiss of a sweltering breeze. He spoke your name like a sacred note, molding it into an intricate design. You had never thought it was possible to make something as simple as your name into something so beautiful.

"Keiji," you tried saying his name, but it came out as a whisper; though you're certain that he heard. It wasn't anything compared to the way he said your name, but it was something. You hoped that was okay.

A moment of silence stretches across the breath's distance between you, cradling the both of you in its embrace. You loved how the state passivity was never uncomfortable with Keiji. He just somehow managed to fill the rifts simply with his presence.

He cleared his throat before he began, "It's terrifying."

You could hear the tremble on his tone - the shame and the fright. So you reached for his hand, tightly intertwining your fingers with his own.

"What is?"

"To give."

Your grip on his hand tightened. Flames bored into your chest, leaving a burning sensation in its wake. The fire was the need - the need to discover more and more of him: His mannerisms, his hobbies, his desires, his fears - his everything. Although it was selfish, you wanted to know everything and anything. You only hoped he was willing.

He continued, "The prospect of continuously giving and giving - trying - and finally recieving. But the world isn't so kind is it?"

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "The reality is that the only thing you'd receive after giving is nothing. Just a series of turned backs. So, I thought the best solution was not to feel. But-"

He leaned closer to you, resting his head on the nape of your neck. His face was hot, and his fingers were lightly coated with sweat. You could tell he was just as nervous as you were.

This was yet another side of him you'd be more than happy to love.

Then, you run your fingers through his hair - something you've always wanted to do. It felt as great as you had imagined, like a matt of silken thread. It felt so nice, so right - like your hands were meant to be where they were, like they existed just for this purpose.

"That moment you confessed to me- when you ran up to me- when you smiled at me: I couldn't help it."

He cursed under his breath the he wistfully added, "I'm sorry."

"Keiji, it's okay," you looked back at him. His ears were a bright red, in contrast to the dark tones of his eyes. They peered at you with caution, yet they still remained calm.

"I'll face you," you inched closer to him, letting your fingers dive deeper into his hair. Your face was catching fire, but that hardly mattered. You had to tell him -you had to let him know.

"I'll give," your foreheads touched, different kinds of warmth melting into one.

"Keiji, I may not know your past as much as the next person, but I'm here. "

That was when his lips touched yours. Then, there was only the two of you in your own world. He breathed a fire into you, devouring you from inside out. This was the act of losing yourself and finding you with him - in his arms. It was the perfect diapason of sensation and heat. You wished that the end would never come.

You let your digits travel, quenching your thirst to feel more of him, as he did the same. To his cheek, his jaw, his neck, then landing on his chest where you could feel - albeit faintly - how much his heart danced and cavorted for you. You wanted him to know just as how much yours did for him.

But then came your need to breathe. Your lungs heaved as soon as you pull back. Then, all that's left was his bitter-sweet aftertaste, and those eyes that seemed to see only you. And it was the same for you to him.

"I think I love you," you whispered to him as if was your little secret. Then, you brushed your fingers against his cheek for the briefest moment, like caressing a prized artifact. You could sense the puzzle pieces gradually falling into place.

"I think I love you too."

Akaashi Keiji was truly a mystery worth solving, and this was just the beginning.

[END]

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I WROTE "SEIJURO" INSTEAD OF "KEIJI." AKASHI-SAMA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??

ALSO, AKAASHI-KUN NEEDS MORE LOVE!!!

Anyways, oh wow this ended up being longer than it was supposed to be. This is my first time writing fluff, because for some ultimately bad reason, it seems like I've been cursed with the inability to write such. I hope you guys liked it, though. happy cry XD 
Moreover, this might or might not be serve as a beginning of a series of fics with "Confessions" as the theme. :3 idk, tho.

Any errors or comments? Let me know down below! :D

Thank you for reading this! : O )
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rechan1's avatar
It's so adorable I love it 🥺💗